Relevations in the mail room
#writing when I should be cherishing my zzzzzzzs
#independent womannnn hear me roarrrr
#meh 5ever alone
Some dumb slore decided to stuff thickass envelopes down the mail slot and jammed the entire thing so my coworker and I spent most of our break (and our arm strength) trying to un-jam the mail. Eventually she gave up and I decided to ask the building manager; they said someone would come to help me and that I should just wait in the mail room. I think I barely waited a minute before going back to the mail drop and furiously shaking it. Five minutes later, the mail dropped and I walked out to see the maintenance guy about to enter the mail room. I told him I fixed it and thanked him anyway.
Why couldn’t I just wait for maintenance? Sometimes I feel like I should be more of a damsel in distress but I find that is one thing I will never be able to change about myself. I think the biggest reason why my relationships never work out is because I never let myself fully depend on that other person. Why should I when I know they’re going to leave? Why should I when it’s better to rely on myself? People say that sometimes you just have to let the guy be the strong man but I don’t feel comfortable with faking weakness so someone can get their ego on. Maybe I’m better off alone.
"I never enjoy anything.
#stuck in love
I’m always waiting for whatever’s next.
I think everyone’s like that…
living life in fast forward
never stopping to enjoy the moment
too busy turn to rush through everything
so we can get on what we’re really supposed to be doing with our lives.
I get these flashes of clarity, brilliant clarity,
where, for a second I stop and I think,
wait, this is it, this is my life.
I better slow down and enjoy it
because one day we’re all gonna end up in the ground
and that will be it, we’ll be gone."